Monster
by Jawa Snuggler
Summary: A newly Magistered Hawke is trying to maintain her humanity, and Fenris just wants to know where he stands. M for violence and adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

Blood dripped down my arm as I stood over the body of my opponent. The roaring in my ears drowned out the exclamation from his apprentice.

"I suggest you leave now." I told the apprentice, who was looking at me with a mixture of shock and awe. "I'll send for you later."

She paled at my words, but had the audacity to respond. "Magister, there's the small matter of-"

"Leave!" I barked, feeling dizzy from my exertion and not trusting her not to knife me in my weakness.

I summoned a ball of flame in my hand to hurry her along, and she scampered out without further protest.

"Oh Maker," I groaned as I sank into a nearby chair. I had finally done it.

I had long envied Danarius's position as Senior Magister, and also his power in the Senate. I had spent years learning everything about him, how he fought, what spells he used, and how to defeat him. Finally, my day had come.

Repressing the longing to see my family, as I had done so successfully in the past, I rose to my feet, just in time to face the slave that entered the room.

There was a small scream as she saw Danarius's body on the ground, and I winced. His first move had been to throw me against a wall, and my head was aching.

"Your master is dead." I said simply. I didn't own slaves myself, so I wasn't sure how to handle this.

The slave dropped to her knees and bowed before me, which made me really uncomfortable. "Then we shall serve you, Mistress."

Right. I hadn't forgotten about the possession laws, but I had told myself I would deal with it if I won the duel, which I hadn't been entirely certain of in the first place. Now, I was cursing past me for being so lazy.

"Okay." I said, and then berated myself. 'Okay' is not something magisters say. "That is right. Please inform the rest of the household of the change and let them know that I'll meet everyone tomorrow. Also, if you could show me to any bed except the one he" I pointed at the corpse "slept in, I would appreciate it."

The slave girl nodded, and made her way to the staircase. We descended to the main corridor, and she pointed out an entire hallway full of rooms. "None of these have been used, Mistress. Shall I replace the covers for you? Would you like something to eat? Whatever you desire, you need only to command."

I yawned and entered the first room on the right. "This is fine. I'm too tired to eat anyways."

The slave girl bowed. "Very well. Is there anything else you require of me, serrah?"

I shook my head and went to sit on the bed. When I glanced over, she was still in the doorway.

"You're dismissed." I said, awkwardly. Was I going to have to say that fifty times a day?

She didn't move, but she took a deep breath. "Mistress, there is something-"

"Honestly, can it wait until tomorrow? I'm exhausted, and I'm unpleasant when I'm tired. I'll deal with everything tomorrow." I said, lying down on top of the covers.

The slave bowed. "Of course, serrah. I apologize to keeping you. Rest assured, everything will be ready for your perusal tomorrow."

"Shut the door behind you," I called.

The door shut, and I was left in blessed darkness. The last four years of my life had been preparing for this moment, and I was too worn out to enjoy it.

Bethany and my mother boarding the ship to leave Miranthous was an image burned into my mind by the betrayal and hurt that accompanied it. I knew I could do it, become something, but they didn't believe in me. Well, I didn't need them, as it turned out. I'm doing just fine for myself.

A little angry and unconvinced, I took off my apprentice robes, leaving only my undershirt and shorts to keep me modest.

As I curled up in the unfamiliar bed, I tried to imagine my new life. No longer would I have to listen to Magister Silivus order me to practice the spells I had already mastered. No longer would I have to ignore the abuse of the slaves he owned, which was distasteful, at best. And no longer would I have to kiss up to every magister, hoping to form a connection.

My new life had begun, and it was going to be great.

/-/-/-/-/

I heard a faint knocking sound, and I yawned and stretched myself awake.

"Come in." I said, slowly pulling on my robes.

The female slave from last night opened the door timidly. "Mistress?"

"Yes?" I answered, still unused to being called that.

The slave's gaze was on the ground. "We were just making sure you were okay, and hadn't had any visitors in the night."

"Yeah, I survived," I said with a laugh. "You didn't have to go and wake me up though."

The girl fell on her knees and I winced. That had been a joke. "I beg your pardon, mistress. We only worried, because it is so late in the day! I will accept whatever punishment you deem necessary, and will never rouse you from sleep again!"

I stood up, still stretching. "It's okay, it's okay. What time is it, anyway?"

"It is seven o'clock at night, mistress." She replied, still kneeling with her head down.

"SEVEN O'CLOCK?!" I exclaimed. I had literally slept the entire day away. The girl flinched at my outburst, and I mentally kicked myself for freaking her out. "It's a good thing you woke me up! Wow! This is not a good start to the day. Maker, I'm starving. Any chance there's some food left over from dinner?"

The girl looked at me in confusion. "Of course. The household would never presume to eat before you, mistress."

Great. I hadn't just wasted my day; I had starved my staff too. "Well, lead the way."

She rose to her feet, and I followed her down the hallway of MY new mansion. That was a weird thought.

The table was set for a feast, and the food was covered to conserve the heat.

"This hasn't been here since breakfast, has it?" I asked suspiciously, wondering how thrifty Danarius had been.

"Oh no, no!" the slave informed me. "Our chefs have been remaking the food every half hour, and are ready to remake it if you so desire."

Oh. Not thrifty, then. "That's unnecessary. Say, where is the staff? Danarius must have more than two slaves."

The slave girl (I really should have asked her name by now) nodded. "The rest of the slaves are waiting outside in the courtyard for your inspection."

Great. So I had starved my staff and also made them stand in the blazing heat for an entire day. This was a great first impression.

"Show me where they are," I ordered, suddenly not hungry. "But first, what's your name?"

"Wren, mistress." She replied.

"Oh, does that mean anything?" I asked, wondering if it was an old Arcanum term.

Wren frowned a bit. "I believe it's like the bird, mistress."

Oh. Of course.

I nodded, and followed Wren to the courtyard. The sun was setting, and I could see the relief on everyone's faces when I walked out. There were about ten house slaves, and ten guards, if the armor was anything to go by. They were all kneeling, and I hated myself for waking up so late.

After taking a deep breath, I felt ready to introduce myself.

"Hello, everyone. First of all, you can stand up now. If I had known you guys were waiting for me, I would have cut my session with the sloth demon a little short!"

My attempt at humor fell flat, but they did get to their feet. The cacophony of cracks from bones being released from tension made me wince.

"So, sorry about that. Anyway, as you've probably heard, I killed Danarius. I'm sorry if any of you were particularly attached to him, but, you know, politics."

The dead silence informed me that maybe they didn't actually know politics.

"I would just like to let you know that I'm not going to treat you harshly. I haven't owned slaves before, so I don't have the entitled outlook that I've seen so many others display. You guys are all people to me, and as long as none of you try to knife me in my sleep we won't have any problems. So, feel free to resume your normal duties. Also, dig in to the food on the table. I couldn't eat that much in a week, and I don't want it to be wasted. And that's an order!" I laughed to let them know the order part was a joke, but again, there was no response as they all stood up and filed into the house. Ho hum.

"Wren?" I called after her as she made her way indoors with the rest of them.

"Yes mistress?" She asked, hands folded behind her back, looking at my shoulder to display attentiveness.

"Didn't Danarius have a bodyguard? An elf with glowing tattoos?" I thought I remembered him, but he was nowhere to be found.

Wren nodded. "Yes, mistress. But he's currently in the dungeons. Danarius was punishing him."

"What?!" I yelped. I had almost been here a full day and no one mentioned the man in the dungeons?!

A little voice in my head reminded me that both Hadriana and Wren had tried to tell me something, but I hadn't listened.

"Take me to him, please." I said, groaning internally. Here's another apology I have to make.

Wren led the way, and I saw that the table had already been picked clean and the dishes were put away.

"What's his name?" I asked her.

"Fenris, mistress." she responded as she opened the heavy iron-wrought door that led to the basements.

/-/-/-/-/

Fenris heard the sound of the door opening, and he looked up, hoping it was the last round of his punishment.

It had all gone so wrong.

_"Kill him in his sleep," Danarius had ordered, referring to a Senator in a nearby mansion. "Do I even need to say don't be detected?"_

_He hadn't. This wasn't the first, or even the twentieth time Danarius had sent him to assassinate someone, nor did he suspect it would be the last._

_Fenris left through the window, leaving his sword behind. He phased through Danarius's fence, ignoring the agony that came along with becoming incorporeal._

_Quickly dousing his illumination, he had taken back alleyways and narrow streets until he saw his target's house. Phasing through the wall was child's play, and he climbed onto the roof. Danarius hadn't told him where the room was, but magisters always sleep on the highest part of the house, and his markings could sense strong sources of magic._

_Sure enough, as he approached the west wing, his tattoos began to tingle. Passing through the roof was tempting, but the thud of him hitting the ground usually alerted the target and made the kill... messy._

_So, he strolled over to where the window usually was, facing the East. Exactly two steps away from the edge of the roof (this seemed so important, somehow) his right foot hit the ground, and an instant later was caught in a magically-concealed bear trap, which was welded to the rooftop. Not only that, but a loud shrieking started around him, and it wasn't his own._

_After the first wave of agony radiated from his broken fibula and tibula, he had the presence of mind to phase out of the trap's clutches. Suddenly, it wasn't about assassination, it was about escaping before he was caught, tortured, and then killed, or worse, returned to Danarius._

Fenris had no idea how he managed to walk on his mangled leg, but he suspected fear and adrenaline had large parts in it.

_Just as he made it to the ground, he heard a voice shout from the roof "He's escaped! Search the grounds!"_

_With a final spurt of effort, Fenris threw himself through the fence and down a narrow street, hoping against hope that he could make it to Danarius's before the dogs caught up with him._

_He phased himself through a wall, into an abandoned house, where he slid to the ground, clutching his butchered limb. It was gushing blood, and he was feeling faint from the loss of it._

_Drawing strength from his markings and fear of his punishment, Fenris slowly dragged himself to Danarius's mansion._

_Barely strong enough to walk, much less climb, he just phased himself through a wall that led to the main foray._

_One of Danarius's guards saw him, and ran to get Danarius._

_His master rushed down, and Fenris couldn't keep him in focus, due to his failing vision._

_He was only strong enough to shake his head no when his master asked him if the job was done, before he blacked out in a haze of red._

_When he awoke, it was to find that he was now hanging from the ceiling by chains, chains he could easily phase out of but didn't dare to try._

_Then he realized his master was standing in front of him, and he lowered his gaze to the floor. Do not speak unless spoken to._

_"You failed." Danarius's voice was like ice, and it sent a shiver down Fenris's spine._

_He noticed that his leg had stopped bleeding, but wasn't by any means healed._

_Danarius started to circle around the hanging form. "Tell me, of what use is an assassin that cannot kill its targets?" A pause. "That was a question, Fenris." There was a crack, and Fenris felt the sting of a whip across his back._

_"None, master," Fenris answered. "I'm so sorry to have failed you! There was a hidden trap on the-"_

_A second crack of the whip across his back silenced him. "I didn't ask to hear your excuses. I wanted a certain message sent before a crucial vote, and instead had my opponent galvanized and confident enough to sweep the vote in his favor."_

_Another crack._

_"I'm sorry, master," Fenris said, trying not to scream as the blood started pooling in his destroyed leg. "please-"_

_Crack._

_"You have a lot to atone for, little wolf. And rest assured, you will make reparations for your mistake."_

_Then, Danarius started whipping him in earnest, and Fenris couldn't contain his screams as Danarius eventually resorted to more hands-on methods._

_When his master left, he looked back at Fenris's bleeding, broken frame and said "We'll continue this tomorrow." and strolled out without another word._

_Fenris's vision was going spotty, and he could no longer stand, wincing when all of his weight fell on his wrists. His final thought before closing consciousness was the dread of what tomorrow would bring._

_'Tomorrow' brought more pain, and the day after that, and the day after that. Danarius came to punish him in the mornings and at night for three straight days. It was also three straight days without food, and when his stomach growled loudly enough for Danarius to hear it, Danarius accused him of not being remorseful enough, and promised to make his next punishment the worst one yet._

So when the door opened this time, Fenris had no small amount of dread. Danarius hadn't visited him yesterday or today, and that certainly meant this would be unimaginably painful for the slave.

However, when he saw the female mage approach with the house slave, he was confused. Danarius had him service other magisters, and Danarius himself when the mood struck. But that wasn't considered punishment, it was just expected. What hidden twist would make this a punishment to end all punishments?

"Oh, Maker!" He heard the newcomer exclaim, but not in an excited way. His shirt had been long since ripped away, and his pants were barely held up by his thin rope belt. "What is happening here?"

He didn't know if he was to explain, but the other slave answered before he could.

"Danarius was punishing him for failing a mission." The slave answered.

Fenris inhaled sharply. Slaves didn't use their masters' names. To do so was practically defiance, punishable by death.

But the magister didn't react to the egregious breach of protocol. "I can't believe he's alive!"

"Fenris has dealt with such pain before, mistress."

_Not really_, Fenris thought to himself, before the last word registered with him. MISTRESS? That must mean Danarius is-

"Quickly, go tell the cooks to make a thin broth. Nothing too heavy, we don't know how his stomach will handle it. Bring it to wherever he sleeps. Hurry!" the mage ordered, the authority in her voice confirming his suspicion. Danarius was dead. He didn't know whether to be relieved or terrified.

Wren ran off, and the mage opened the door to his cell.

"Fenris, I'm here to help. Can you understand me?"

Fenris nodded. He wasn't dumb. "Yes, mistress."

She looked relieved. "Okay, good. I'm going to heal you now, okay?"

Fenris nodded again, wondering why she bothered to make that a question. Of course he was okay with it. And, even if he wasn't, there was no way in Thedas he would tell a magister no to anything.

She stood with her arms outstretched, but not touching him, and sent waves of healing magic over him.

Fenris couldn't help groaning as the lashes on his back and the soreness in his lower regions evaporated. When his bones knit themselves back together, he actually wanted to weep, but was too wary.

After the enormous amount of energy needed to heal a body so broken, his new mistress leant back against the bars of his cell, clutching her head as if fighting off a headache.

Fenris realized then in what position he found himself.

His first meeting with his new owner found him already being punished for failing a task. Being branded as a failure now would likely contribute to his being disposed of in the future. He knew exactly how to make sure his owner was pleased with him, if she didn't just order him to serve her in the first place. It wouldn't be pleasant, but it would keep him alive.

Hopefully.

The mage regained her composure. "Sorry, I needed to clear my head for a second. Let's get you unchained," she said as she approached him.

Again, not touching him, she sent a pulse of magic at his wrists, and the manacles unlocked themselves.

He fell onto the ground, and had to deal with intense disorientation as the blood flowed to his head again.

"Are you okay?" His mistress asked with likely faux concern.

She bent down as if to touch him, but stopped at his flinch. It was a little thing, but touch meant pain to Fenris's body, and he couldn't control these involuntary movements, even though they had gotten him punished more severely in the past.

Slowly, he bent himself into a bowing position. "I live to serve you, Mistress."

"There's time for that later. Let's get some food in your stomach," she said as she left the cell.

He followed her, with only minor difficulty. His limbs were sore, but compared to the pain he had been in, it was nothing.

They emerged into the grand foray, and Fenris noticed there was no trace of the mess from his bloody entrance.

Wren was just leaving a room in the empty hallway, and Fenris's brow furrowed. He slept in his master's room, everyone knew that.

His mistress wasn't paying attention to which door Wren had left, and was instead filling him in on the change in ownership.

"I killed Danarius in a duel yesterday. I had wanted his position for a long time, and I knew I was ready. It's a good thing you weren't around to interfere with my plans haha. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly were you being punished for?"

He hesitated. The wording of this was crucial. "Danarius had sent me to murder an opponent of his, and I was unable to do so." No denial, no shifting of blame, no hint of impertinence.

"Why not?" His mistress asked, looking at him with surprise.

"There was a concealed trap on the roof that crippled my leg and sounded the alarm. I could only barely escape."

They reached the door Wren had left, and Fenris's stomach growled at the sight of the bowl and bread sitting on a desk in the room.

He didn't move toward it, staring at the ground.

"Well, dig in Fenris! You must be hungry after not eating yesterday and today!" His mistress ordered, cheerfully though, and went to sit on the bed.

Fenris dug in. As weak as the broth was, it was exactly what his stomach needed. The bread made him uncomfortable, but he ate it anyway. It was clear it was a fresh loaf from today; he normally had day-old bread, at best.

He finished eating and rose to his feet, to find his mistress staring at him.

/-/-/-/-/

Fenris's eating had sent a pain of sympathy through my stomach. I had just managed to keep it together after the horrific sight of him hanging from the chains, but the quick, desperate way he devoured the food informed me that maybe it hadn't only been two days since he had eaten.

When he finished eating, he walked over to where I was and kneeled in front of me. "What do you command of me, mistress?"

Maker, his voice was so deep, it was incredible.

"You should go take a bath," I suggested. All that dried blood on him had to be making uncomfortable.

He nodded. "I will then return to serve you, mistress."

I winced. Danarius had been a monster, but I hadn't known his depravity had gone this far.

"That isn't-" I stood in front of him and laying my hand on his shoulder, my pinkie touching a line of his tattoo.

He flinched, but I didn't care.

His tattoos weren't ink, they were...

They were...

Lyrium.

Just the faintest touch with my pinkie had sent a wave of pleasure and power through me. I imagined what my palms would feel like when they touched it. Or if my entire body touched it.

Completely enraptured by the lyrium, I walked around his kneeling form and placed both hands on the thick lyrium lines going down his back. I trailed my hands up and down, ignoring the way he was as tightly coiled as a spring.

The lyrium was singing a song of glory and raw magic, and my blood was singing along.

As I leant in to lick the lyrium lines of his neck, I heard the door open and then a crash.

I whipped around, already mouthing a spell to eradicate the distraction from my beautiful lyrium.

It was Wren with a tray of food and a bundle of clothes. She had dropped her tray, and when I saw my reflection in a mirror, I knew why.

My eyes had gone completely black and my skin had taken on a gray pallor.

I took a few steps back, and lowered my hand, which had been aiming at Wren.

Then, I turned around and violently wretched in a nearby trashcan. I was supposed to be the hero, and I just practically-

"Leave, Fenris!" I croaked, fighting another wave of nausea. I fell to my knees and bent over the trashcan, miserable.

I heard Fenris leave, and then felt a cool hand on my shoulder.

This time, I flinched, knowing exactly how close I had come to losing control.

In my defense, as inexcusable as my almost-rape was, this was only the third time I had come into contact with lyrium, and by far the largest quantity of it. Silivus had been a fan of letting mana recharge naturally, as strange as that was, and, to his credit, he was free from the severe addiction to the precious metal, unlike his colleagues of the same age. He didn't even keep it in his house. My previous encounters had been finding a half-full bottle of it on a bandit Beth and I had killed on our way out of Lothering. As soon as I held the bottle, I was filled with an intense desire to drink it, so I did. My mother and Bethany tell me that when I turned around to look at them, my pupils had dilated to almost the size of my irises.

My other encounter had been a drink that was spiked with lyrium at a party. My pupils had completely covered my irises and a little more, and Silivus had caught me in the kitchen, ordering the slaves to bring me more and threatening to burn the place down when they told me their master wouldn't allow it.

That night, Silivus made sure I knew the consequences for embarrassing him and sent me to my room in a bloodied state. As I laid in bed that night, I was horrified at my actions. The bruises and cuts were easy to heal with my experience in the matter (Silivus was violent when drunk), but I was sure the mental anguish of terrorizing those slaves would stick with me forever.

Until tonight.

"Ugh," I groaned, standing up. It was a good thing I hadn't eaten dinner yet, otherwise my mouth would taste disgusting.

Wren rose as well, and stood by the door. I heard her gasp as I plunged my head in the water basin on the other side of the room.

Fenris deserved an outstanding apology, and I had to make sure I was sober enough to do it.

"Could you ask Fenris to come here after he's done? I need to apologize."

Wren's gaze, which had widened in alarm, softened. "Of course, mistress."

I sat on the bed again, with my head in my hands. One day. One freaking day as a magister and I was already a monster. It was a good thing mom and Beth had left when they did.

"Mistress?" I heard Fenris's voice inquire from the doorway. "You wanted to see me?"

/-/-/-/-/

Fenris approached the door with apprehension. He hadn't protested or otherwise disobeyed as his new mistress had stroked his marking, so he hopefully wouldn't be punished for disobedience. At least they made him desirable to her.

He tried to quell the sense of outrage he felt that he was only being kept alive for his body. Such feelings were useless.

Fenris opened the door. "Mistress? You wanted to see me?"

He knew exactly why she wanted to see him, but female magisters in particular seemed to like to play this little game.

On some strange impulse, he looked up at her face, a grevious insult. Instead of the hunger he felt in her fingers, her eyes were filled with gut-wrenching remorse, to the point where he almost wanted to console her, but it wasn't his place. Also, her head was dripping wet for some reason.

He kneeled before her, ignoring her nervous skitter away from him. Her full sense of ownership hadn't kicked in yet, that was it. She would get over that soon enough.

"Fenris, I'm so sorry." She said, averting her eyes as if ashamed. "There's honestly no excuse for how I acted. I wanted to tell you that I was different from Danarius, but-"

_She's not._ Fenris thought to himself, sick of this whole charade. Nobody's ever different. People had said things like this before, and it always ended the same way. The sooner she stopped playing these games, the sooner he could go to sleep.

His mistress was still in mid-speech, but he decided to do something that he never would have done in a million years to Danarius.

He stood up, and tackled her onto the bed, kissing her fiercely.

/-/-/-/-/

And my apology had been going so well, too. I thought in a daze as we flipped and I was the one pinning him.

I was running my hand all over his torso, practically quivering with delight every time I touched one of those raised strands.

He was warm, and strong, and his hands were roving all over, leaving trails of fire.

Then, I opened my eyes and saw the emptiness in his. This was an act. He was preforming his duty

I leapt off him and across the room. "No, Fenris! This isn't what I want from you! This isn't who I am!" My breathy voice betrayed exactly how much I wanted this from him, but I kept going. "I'm different from the other-"

"But you aren't." Fenris snarled, standing up as well. His tattoos were glowing faintly. "You want the lyrium in my skin bad enough to kill for it. Your very blood calls out for it. The only thing stopping you from using me is your misplaced sense of pride. You aren't different, mistress. Nobody ever is. The sooner you accept your power as my owner, you can satisfy your urges and I can know where I stand!"

I stood there in shock. Where had that come from?

/-/-/-/

Fenris stood there in shock. What had he done? Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the loss of blood, or just life-ending stupidity, but he had just invited her to brutally murder or rape him.

It was true though. Nothing was worse than the uncertainty of where he stood. Maybe death would actually be a relief.

"Leave, Fenris." She said, turning away from him.

"Mistress, I can serve-" Fenris started, despair filling him. She didn't even want him? Knowing his luck, she would give him away as a present to one of her magister friends, or even Hadriana, or-

But his mistress started talking again. "It's obvious I can't handle this. I'll talk to you tomorrow, just, get out. You aren't in trouble, just leave."

Fenris's breathing calmed down. She wasn't done with him yet. "Good night, mistress."

As he left, he heard her whisper "Good night, Fenris."

/-/-/-/-/

First the first time in years, I picked up a quill and sat at the desk.

"Dear Mother,"

I stopped, and crumbled the parchment into a ball.

"Dearest Mother and Bethany,

I've finally reached the level of Magister. I have my own mansion and seat in the Senate. I'm also extremely wealthy, and can provide for all of us. I can pay for a ship to bring you here, or a caravan, or any way you want. But I miss you so much. I can't handle being in Miranthous alone. Please respond as soon as you get this. I love you two so much,

Hawke"

I stared at the letter. I didn't mention Fenris, or the lyrium or any of the things I actually needed to, which were necessary exclusions, in case the letter was intercepted. But I couldn't send the it. Not after they abandoned me.

Extinguishing the candles with a blast of cold air, I fell back on the bed.

My first day as a magister, and I was already a monster.

**AN: Sorry if the switches in viewpoints threw you off; I tried to make them as obvious as I could. Review if you liked it, review if you didn't!**


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Wow, guys! Sorry it took me so long, but I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

Waking up next morning (yes, morning this time), I felt nicely recovered. Today was going to be the day everything was sorted out and I became the magister I was meant to be.

I changed into the clothes Wren had brought for me last night, and admired the new, darker blue robes that my higher position granted me.

Opening the door, I immediately came face-to-face with Fenris. He was still not wearing a shirt, but I carefully avoided ogling the contrast between his tan skin and his glorious, scintillating, beautiful-

No! Bad Hawke!

"How long have you been there?" I asked focusing again, feeling little perturbed. For some reason, the idea of him just waiting for me weirded me out.

His gaze was on my feet, and this (unintentionally?) displayed the intricate markings on his neck in all their shimmering brilliance. "All night, mistress."

"Why didn't you go to your room?" I asked. I thought I had clearly dismissed him last night.

Fenris didn't look up. "I have no room, Mistress. I always guarded Danarius from inside his chambers."

"Oh. That's... depressing. We'll work out a better arrangement tonight. Come, let's get some breakfast."

I started down the hall and heard him following a couple paces behind me.

The table was laden with food, and I hardly knew where to begin. I sat at the head seat and motioned for Fenris to grab some food too.

"So, I think I should have my first party tonight. Is it too late to send out invitations?" I inquired of Fenris, wiping the juice from a cantaloupe off my face.

He had sat down with some hesitation, and was eating with quicker, neater bites than I was, and he made sure to swallow before responding "I do not think so, Mistress. Danarius had received invitations the day of before and did not appear to be insulted."

"Because if he was insulted, he would have sent you to kill them, right?" I laughed. Fenris flinched. Maybe because his last assassination attempt hadn't been so successful...

We hammered out a few more particulars, and I went into Danarius's old study, finally deciding to take inventory of my new mansion. Wren heard us discussing a party, and offered to take care of the invitations and decorations, which freed me up quite a bit.

Danarius's study was a lot neater than I had expected, and it reminded me of Silivus's, except for the empty lyrium bottles in the trash.

I had just started to peruse Danarius's library, when a slave girl (no idea what her name was), knocked on the open door.

"Yes?" I asked, smiling a benevolent smile that she didn't see because she was too busy bowing.

Her forehead remained touching the ground, but she responded "I apologize for interrupting you, Mistress, but Lady Hadriana is at the door and requests your presence."

"Oh, crap, Hadriana." I had forgotten about Danarius's old apprentice. "Send her up."

The slave backed out of the room, and I noticed that Fenris's posture stiffened, almost like he was bracing himself for something unpleasant.

/-/-/-/-/

Hadriana. In the recent confusion and uncertainty of having a new master, Fenris had forgotten about his old master's sadistic apprentice.

A little part of him hoped Mistress would refuse to keep Hadriana, but he knew better than to hope. Hadriana would return, making life just as bad as it had been under Danarius. Worse, if his new mistress allowed Hadriana to corrupt her. She might even join in on the nighttime festivities.

Hadriana entered, looking calm and collected.

"Oh, powerful one!" She began, bowing before Mistress. "It was a shock to see one as young as you defeat a magister as powerful as Danarius, but I can see just by the way you stand how much power you have. I am unworthy to stand in your presence, and s beg you to take me on as your apprentice, oh mighty one. You clearly have surpassed my learning in every way, and I long to tap into your wealth of knowledge-"

Her speech of adoration continued, and Fenris longed to glance at his mistress's face to gauge her reaction, but he quelled his urge. He would find out soon enough, and anything might make his new mistress remember how slaves were supposed to be treated.

Finally, Hadriana's speech was cut off.

"I'm not looking for an apprentice at the moment." His mistress stated, and Fenris felt a surge of relief flow through him. "I am new to the position in which I find myself, and have a lot to learn before I can consider teaching. Thank you for expressing your interest, and if my attitude changes in the future, I'll let you know."

Hadriana wasn't willing to give up that easily. "But Magister, I could facilitate your transition! I could take care of the mundane aspects of maintaining the household, and you could focus on consolidating your power in the Senate. I'll do anything to show my willingness to please you, oh wise one..."

She trailed off, her tone making it clear what 'anything' entailed. Fenris didn't blame her for being desperate. He knew from her rants as she had electrified him at night how frustrating being only an apprentice at her age was, and being cast out now would be a horrendous setback.

His mistress also picked up on her insinuation, as shown by her uncomfortable shrugging of shoulders and her small step back. "That won't be necessary. Please show yourself out. I'll let you know if something changes. Good day."

She turned her back on a livid Hadriana, and Fenris wondered for a second if Hadriana would be foolhardy enough to try to curse her with him standing here. He had long wished to crush the witch's heart, and now would be a great opportunity. But, alas, Hadriana restrained herself to a simple crude gesture and stormed out, radiating angry magic.

"That went well," his mistress joked, sitting down with a sigh. "I hope you aren't upset I'm not keeping her around."

Fenris actually laughed, a brief outburst of amusement. Him? Upset about no Hadriana? He missed about as much as he missed getting whipped every day during his training.

His mistress smiled at him, and he returned her smile before staring at the door. Fenris found himself thinking of her with less than hatred, which was more than any of his former masters could say.

/-/-/-/-/

"Looks good!" I remarked as the slave showed me how the house was looking. The morning and afternoon had passed without further incidence, and it was almost time for the party. I had finagled my hair into something presentable and the house was looking great.

Fenris was wearing his awesome black armor, and my first guests arrived.

The magisters were all familiar from parties Silivus had hosted, and they all grouped into the same bunches they did at the other parties. My household was performing admirably and I could already tell this was going to be a huge success.  
Then my old mentor arrived.

Silivus was a man in his late 30's with dark brown hair and piercing eyes. In spite of his good looks, he was unmarried, probably due to his antisocial behavior and rage issues. Being his apprentice wasn't unpleasant, but he was a dominant person by nature, and didn't like to be corrected or argued with. Occasionally, our arguments turned into duels, and I always lost.

Now, however, everything would change. He has to see me as an equal now. Actually, I outrank him. Killing Danarius netted me his position as Senior Magister, while Silivus was still a Junior Magister.

As he walked in, I noticed his sharp gray eyes sizing me up in my new robes.

"Congratulations." He said, extending a hand. "I didn't know you'd be so... successful in your endeavors."

His tone was civil, but I could sense the anger he was trying to conceal. When I snuck out to challenge Danarius, I hadn't told him, and had left a note on my bed. I figured that he would only try to stop me, and if I didn't beat Danarius, it wouldn't matter anyway.

I laughed, and shook his hand. "I'm full of surprises. There will be some things changing in the senate, let me tell you. The era of corruption is drawing to an end."

His smile froze. "Perhaps this is not the place to discuss such matters. Do you have a study we could continue this conversation in?"

"Of course. Follow me." I said, eager to impress him with the size of my new place, which was easily twice the size of his. Danarius was an insufferable jerk, but he did know how to live it up.

We started down the hall, and Fenris followed a respectful distance behind us, and Silivus noticed.

"Surely you don't feel you need a bodyguard during a talk with your mentor." Silivus stated, looking at me with scorn.

I frowned. Fenris following me had become a comfortable presence, but I didn't want to look weak in front of my old advisor. "Of course not. Fenris, go keep an eye on the party."

"My place is with you, Mistress." Fenris replied.

"Go, Fenris. That's an order." Of all the times to disobey me, he chose when Silivus was watching?!

He bowed and walked down the hall.

"You'll need to whip that one before long," Silivus predicted as we walked into my study.

The light orbs Danarius had used to light his office died when he did, and so far my soft orange replacements scattered throughout the house were doing their job perfectly.

"I don't approve of whipping. There are better ways to earn respect." I answered, a little self-righteously.

Silivus snorted. "Then I give it a week, tops, before one of your slaves acts up in front of another magister and you have to kill it."

"Was there something in particular you wanted to talk about, or can I return to my party?" I asked, glancing at the clock. There was only an hour left and I hadn't made my speech yet.

Silivus rolled his eyes. "Like you're so busy being ignored by the other magisters. You know the Senate meets tomorrow, correct?" I nodded. "Well, there's a law a couple of other magisters and I are working on that would lower the taxes on slaves and allow slaves to be bought from more countries. I suggest you sign it, so your first piece of legislature will be a big success. It helps to start one's career off on the right foot."

I stared at him. "You can't be serious. I abhor slavery! If I had my way, it would be outlawed in all of Thedas! Find your support elsewhere. I'm not interested, and frankly I look forward to opposing you on the senate floor."

Silivus's eyes flashed, and I had only a second of dread before he froze me and half my office with a Cone of Cold. It was so well casted that I couldn't even move my mouth to start the counter-spell.

There was a sinking feeling in my stomach and I realized how idiotic it was for me to face him alone.

"You think," Silivus spat, walking towards my frozen form "that just because you lucked out and killed a probably mostly suicidal magister, that you are better than me? Those darker robes won't mean a thing if I burn them off of you while you are still wearing them. You think you are stronger than me? Do you really? I'll duel you anytime. Maybe we should now, in front of your guests, just to make sure the other magisters are fully aware of how vulnerable and weak you really are. Or maybe I should just shatter you here, and save myself the trouble."

I was so frozen, I had lost feeling in my extremities at the beginning of his tirade, and being frozen in my surprised stance was beginning to ache. This wasn't the first time he had threatened to kill me, but I had thought the night before I killed Danarius would be the last time I had to put up with it.

Silivus laid a hand on my frozen arm and electricity jolted through my body, causing painful spasms that where even worse because of the cold. I would have screamed if I could, but it was no use.

After switching to fire, then electricity again, and then blood magic to make me kiss his boots, Silivus was confident that I had learned my place, and he stormed out with a "I'll see you tomorrow."

When he shut the door, I pulled myself up with trembling arms to sit in the desk chair. This visit had shaken me more than I would have thought possible. How was I supposed to be the hero when the villains were stronger than me?

I healed the nerve damage he had left behind, and stood. There was an old bottle of lyrium on the desk, but I decided against drinking some. The last thing I needed was to make this night a bigger disaster by stumbling around drunk on lyrium.

After I gained my composure, I left the room.

And almost ran into one of the Junior Magister's sleazy apprentices pinning Wren's wrists against the wall and kissing her.

Thinking quickly, I stopped right beside them. "Fraternizing with a guest without my permission?" The apprentice stopped his assault, and Wren looked relieved to see me. "That does it. Go to the dungeon. I'll attend to you after the party. Now!"

Wren had been trying to protest her innocence with a significant glance at the arms that were clearly trapping her, but at my command she ducked under them and departed for the dungeons.

"I apologize for any inconvenience," I said to the slime ball, who had the audacity to stand there looking insulted "but I want to be aware of my slaves' activities of the intimate sort. Can't have them thinking they can choose their own lovers, can we?"

The apprentice laughed with me, and we walked down to the main room together.

I had just grabbed a goblet of wine to sooth my nerves, when Fenris regained his place behind me.

Then, another magister walked up to me.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Senior Magister Pacisco. You may be unaware of it, but I supply magisters of your caliber with lyrium for a discounted rate." I shook his hand, wondering where he was going with this. "Danarius and I had a... special agreement worked out. One that involved your bodyguard here."

I glanced at Fenris, who was steadfastly scanning the room as if he couldn't hear us.

"What kind of deal?"

Pacisco's smile reminded me of a shark. "Whenever he hosted a little get-together, I would spend the night, and he would send Fenris to keep me company for the night. I wouldn't leave any severe injuries, and he would get lyrium at half the market value. After all, the lad is quite talented. But, I'm sure you already know that."

He laughed and my accompanying chuckle sounded extremely forced, even to me, but he didn't notice. I remember Silivus mentioning how much power supplying lyrium gave to Pacisco, and this was not a man I should make an enemy out of.

"What an interesting bargain." I said, stalling to think of something. Then, a plan bloomed in my head. "I see no reason why the arrangement shouldn't continue."

"Excellent." Pacisco said, grinning. "I'll stay in the guest suite then?"

I smiled, and made a discreet gesture with my hand. "Only the best-"

There was a loud crash from behind me, and I turned to see that Fenris knocked a bottle of wine over, and onto Inania's set of light blue robes. She was only a bottom level magister, so the offence wasn't deadly, but nonetheless, I turned to her and apologized profusely.

"I do so apologize for my careless slave's actions! Apparently the change in leadership made him forget his place! Rest assured, I'll reteach it to him tonight, even if it kills him! Fenris, go to the dungeon. I'll deal with you after the guests leave. Inania, I'm so sorry about your robes and will of course pay to have them cleaned, or a replacement set sent to you..."

/-/-/-/-/

_It wasn't my fault_, Fenris fumed silently as he trudged down the dungeon stairs. She had pushed him with her magic, and now she was going to beat him for it. On the bright side, maybe she would leave him in too bad of a condition to serve Pacisco tonight.

Danarius had loaned him out for favors often, but the monthly visits from the lyrium smuggler were some of the worst, most painful memories he had, even though he didn't have many to start with.

But, remembering his mistress's healing powers, it was more likely she would flay him and then stitch him up and send him to be tortured anew. Magisters and their damned lyrium addictions.

Fenris reached the cell Danarius had always sent him to, and he was surprised to see it was already occupied.

"What are you doing here?" He asked Wren. If she was hiding to avoid the drunk magisters upstairs and mistress found out, there'd be hell to pay.

Wren was sitting in the corner, looking miserable. "Mistress saw one of the apprentices kissing me against the wall and assumed it was mutual. She sent me down here and said she'd deal with me after the party. I thought she was different, Fenris."

Fenris looked at Wren's small elvish frame, and felt a sense of empathy with her that he'd never felt with anyone before. Normally, Danarius had kept him isolated from the other slaves, but if his mistress continued to allow it, he might even make some friends.

If she didn't order him to kill them all.

"No one's different." He said with a groan, sitting against the wall across from Wren's with a sigh.

/-/-/-/-/

After giving my introductory speech, I stood by the door as the guests filed out one by one.

"I'm sorry it worked out this way," I said to Pacisco. "But I need to handle this as their master."

Pacisco gave a little nod. "I understand. Next time, then."

Finally, all the guests were gone.

I wanted to go to bed, but first I had to attend to my 'disobedient' slaves.

Strolling into the dungeon, I was glad to see that they were sharing a cell so I didn't have to explain myself twice.

"Hello." I said softly, unsure if Wren was asleep of merely resting. At my greeting, however, both slaves jumped up and knelt before me. "You don't have to kneel. I was just coming to tell you can come back up now. Everyone's gone now."

They fidgeted but didn't stand.

"Well?" I demanded. I wanted to go to bed.

Fenris answered in a low rumble. "We are ready to accept our punishments, mistress."

"Didn't you hear me? You can leave now!" Was Silivus right about the lack of respect?

/-/-/-/-/

Fenris had failed this test once before.

"_Go on," Hadriana had urged him." Danarius decided you didn't deserve punishment today after all."_

_He had thanked Hadriana, and then risen to his feet. Just as he was crossing the doorway, his markings began to boil. He fell to his knees, only to have electricity rip through him once he hit the ground._

_"So you think you don't deserve punishment? How rich! Maybe I should tell Danarius that you think you're being unfairly punished!" She hissed, stalking over to his writhing form._

_Fenris would have started hyperventilating if Hadriana hadn't been choking him with force magic._

_He couldn't imagine Danarius's rage if Hadriana even hinted that Fenris was being insubordinate. When Fenris forgot to bow when entering a room, Danarius made him drink poison._

_Fenris could remember the feeling of the drink turning to acid in his stomach, and how he almost phased to rip his stomach out from the pain._

_"Please..." he croaked out weakly."I didn't..."_

_Hadriana stared at him for a second before a smile twitched the corner of her mouth up. "I could forget your insolence. For a price."_

_Fenris was suddenly able to breathe again, and he tried to get to his feet. "Please, mistress-"_

_"Oh, no." Hadriana said, pushing him back down onto his back. "You won't need to get up for this."_

And that's where Fenris's memory stopped, a useful self-preservation technique he had honed over the years.

So, no. He wasn't falling for it again.

"Mistress, we will gladly accept the punishment you wish to inflict."

His mistress frowned at him. "Wren, you may leave."

Apparently the same lesson hadn't been drilled into her, and she left without a backwards glance. Fenris silently pitied the fool who took a magister at her word.

"Fenris, let's discuss this upstairs. I hate being down in this freaking basement."

Ah, upstairs. So _that_ was to be his punishment.

/-/-/-/-/

_He's remarkably stubborn for a slave_, I thought as we climbed the stairs. _Maybe he has a reason to be. Maker knows what Danarius and Hadriana did to him_.

We entered my room and I sat in the desk chair (not the bed, I couldn't afford another moment of weakness in front of him. Especially when he wasn't wearing a shirt).

"I sent you into the basement to get you away from Pacisco." I informed Fenris, who was kneeling in front of me.

At my words, he looked almost into my eyes in surprise, and for a brief second, I believed there was hope for a normal relationship after all.

Then he said "I will serve only you then, mistress."

"No!" I exclaimed (hence, the exclamation mark). "Haven't you been listening to what I've been telling you? I don't want that from you!"

Fenris looked me in the eyes. "Liar."

I stood up, furious. Fenris's tattoos started glowing, and the faint song of lyrium filled the room. When Carver had been crushed by the ogre, his last words to me were "You said you'd protect us. You lied..." As he passed away in my arms, I was ripped to shreds internally by the knowledge that I had failed.

When Fenris called me a liar, I lost control of all the anger and pain that I had repressed. Dad dying and leaving me in charge when I wasn't ready, Carver dying and blaming me with his dying breath, my mom and Bethany fleeing and leaving me to face this den of snakes all by myself.

"Stand up." I spat at Fenris, furious, but unable to yell at a cowering slave. I wanted to look him the eyes as I said this. "You think you have me all figured out. Everyone else you've met has taken advantage of you, so I must want to also! How dare you call me a liar? I legally own you, and you think you know more than me? I don't want to be a monster, but how could I be anything else with you constantly saying that I'm just like everybody else! Would anyone else have rescued Wren from that horny apprentice? Would anybody else have sent you to the dungeon so you didn't have to spend the night being degraded by Pacisco? And some bodyguard you are, when my old mentor can stroll in here and freeze and electrify me within an inch of my life! You aren't the only oppressed one here, Fenris, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner... the sooner..."

I was so angry, I couldn't block out the lyrium's song any longer.

I crashed my lips against his, and he stumbled backwards into a wardrobe, and pulled me with him.

/-/-/-/-/

Mistress's speech had been building up towards something, and now he no longer had to guess.

After she pinned him (which was a laughable idea, be could snap her like a twig) against the wall for a bit, to his surprise, she pulled away.

Fenris felt a flash of fear. He knew how to handle being used. He didn't know what she wanted him to do, and it would be an unpleasant lesson, he was sure.

"See? I'm not everybody else. You were right, I would love it if you spent all night in my bed. But I won't tell you to. I won't take that decision from you, and you certainly aren't capable of making it now. So, now your suspicions are confirmed. I'm human. I have desires. I won't lose control of them again, not if I can help it, but you can't keep offering. In fact, I forbid you from making any offers of a sexual nature to me. I'm going to go take a bath. Move one of the couches in here for you to sleep on. Or sleep on the floor. I don't care at this point."

With that, his mistress walked out the door, leaving Fenris stunned.

He never would have expected a magister to admit her feelings towards him and then state they weren't going to act on them. _Maybe she would change her mind, _Fenris thought as he pulled a small divan from another room into the one she occupied, but he found himself doubting it.

Wren stopped by for a second, and he told her why their mistress had sent them both to the dungeon.

It was unimaginable, that a magister would look out for their slaves' interests above her own. Danarius had always had a "Take what you like" attitude toward other magisters about his slaves, and that was normal.

Fenris sat on the divan, and stared into the crackling fireplace. He was more confused than ever.

/-/-/-/-/

Drying my hair with a soft blue towel, I strolled into the room and saw that Fenris had followed my orders (for once) and had pulled a small couch into the room. An ideal world would have him sleeping in another room, or even freed, but Silivus's visit had shaken me to the core. I obviously needed Fenris's protection, at least until I was strong enough on my own.

"Good night, Fenris." I said, lying under my covers with a groan. This had been such a long day.

He too laid down, and closed his eyes. "Good night, mistress."

I extinguished the candles in the room with a wave of my hand. The dark made Fenris's faintly shimmering markings that much more tempting, but it was abhorrent to even think like that. If only Fenris saw me as anything other than a cruel master.

Suddenly, it hit me. How I could prove I wasn't a monster.

I was going to abolish slavery.

AN2: So, drop a little review telling me what you liked and didn't. I have a pretty good idea of where I want this story to head, but if you have any grievances, let me know. Or, you could say nice stuff. I like that too!


	3. Chapter 3

_"Oh, Fenris!" I moaned as his warm mouth left mine and slipped to my neck. I opened my eyes to see the bedroom being dimly lit by candles. That was weird, normally I extingui-_

_Fenris moaned and the noise sent a wave of heat straight to my toes. He was perfect. The lyrium in his skin felt like electricity against mine. His wet tongue on my clavicle sent sensations all throughout my body, and I curled my hands in his soft white hair. His hands trailed from my hair to my breasts, and then lower, until-_

_"Now," I ordered him, and he didn't need clarification. Which was good, because I couldn't wait any more. _

_With a deep breath, he lifted himself and-_

_All of a sudden, bright lights were all around us. Fenris and I froze._

_"This is the newest magister? She's pathetic." I heard a familiar voice say._

_I hastily covered myself with a sheet and looked to up see Silivus, my mother, and Bethany standing in my doorway. Beth had spoken._

_"Too weak to resist temptation. No wonder she couldn't protect us," my mother said._

_I leapt out of bed, barely remembering to clutch the sheet._

_"Mom! Bethany! You're-" I lunged at them, desperate to hug them and hold them close._

_As soon as my hand came into contact with my mother's arm, I felt a second of warmth before both she and Bethany disappeared before my eyes._

_"Pathetic," Silivus sneered. "Still missing your mommy?"_

_I sank to my knees. It was an illusion. Again._

_"Since you're there..." Silivus said, walking toward me and knotting his fingers in my hair._

_"No!" I tried to twist away, but his grip tightened, and he pulled until I was standing._

_"Just pretend I'm that gorgeous slave of yours. You know he'll be mine after I kill you."_

_He threw me against the ground and stalked towards me, unfastening his robes with dark anticipation in his eyes._

_"Fenris! Help!" I called, looking desperately over my shoulder at him._

_He was still in the bed, his face was blank and gaze unfocused. "You may do whatever you wish to me, mistress."_

_Silivus chuckled softly under his breath, and summoned a crackling ball of blue electricity in his hand-_

I sat up with a gasp. My nightmares had started the night of the party, and they hadn't ceased for the entire month since then.

"Mistress?" Fenris asked from his divan, sitting up with a jolt. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes, I'm- I'm fine." I said, hearing the catch in my voice and knowing he must have picked up on it too. "You can go back to sleep."

It was still dark, and I estimated it to be about four in the morning. I laid back down slowly.

This nightmare was the worst one yet. I didn't know if it was a demon that just hadn't revealed itself yet, or it was Silivus dream walking, but whatever it was hadn't given me a night off yet.

I had mastered most magical defenses, except the mental ones. Silivus knew that very well and had threatened to reveal my weakness to some particularly nasty senators.

Not only was my genius plan to end slavery (introduce a bill and somehow get support for it) a complete failure, but Silivus had me on a very short leash. I was reminded of that fact when I tried to write a bill increasing taxes on slaves and he had frozen my feet to the ground so I couldn't discuss it with anyone. Thankfully, I was sitting behind a desk so no one could see my immobility.

Now, I was spending my days frantically trying to find any defense against the nightmares, but they persisted.

Getting out of bed, I quietly padded toward my closed door, opening it as softly as I could to avoid waking Fenris. We had been at the Senate all week, and his constant vigilance must have been wearing, not that he would ever admit to it.

I walked up to my study, summoning a little light to guide me down the dark hallways. In my month here, I still hadn't gone in all of the rooms. Mostly, I was in the library or study. I hadn't had the courage to visit Danarius's laboratory.

As I sat down to start my daily futile search for a nightmare cure, I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders.

Repressing my first reaction (curl into a ball, it'll be over soon), I whipped around to see a nervous Fenris. Nervous as in still-drop-dead-gorgeous-but-slightly-uncertain, of course.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry. You can go back to bed. I'll just be here reading." Sitting back in my chair, I propped my elbows on the desk and rested my head in them.

"I am awake also, mistress." Fenris stated, watching me attempt to crack my neck and seeing me wince. My nightmares had caused me to contort and sleep in weird positions. "Would you like a massage?"

"No, Fenris. Again, I'm not-" I started, too tired to have this pointless discussion another time. Honestly, it was only a matter of time before in said yes, and made my dreams a reality.

Not the Silivus part.

Fenris laid his hands on my shoulders. "It is just a massage, mistress.

Then, he started kneading my sore neck, and I didn't have the willpower to stop him. Slowly, he worked out the knots in my back and my stress seemed to fade away.

/-/-/-/-/

_Mistress seems to be enjoying this,_ Fenris thought with satisfaction.

This last month hadn't been easy for him either.

He was trained to stir at his old master's slightest movement, and when his mistress jerked awake every night, Fenris woke up due to his conditioning.

Occasionally, her tossing and turning woke him up before she did. That was when he heard her talking in her sleep.

"Oh, Fenris" she would occasionally moan, leaving him fully aware he was the subject of her dreams. However, later she awakened with terror instead of lust in her eyes, and that confused him.

He didn't know exactly what role he played in her dreams, but he expected every morning to wake up and see her looking at him with the same hunger in her eyes that Danarius and so many others had. She would order him to strip, and he would add a few more hours to the memories he tried to repress.

Every morning, however, his mistress greeted him with a steadily cheery smile and a "Good morning."

His mistress groaned a little as he started massaging her shoulder and biceps.

Fenris had no idea how she was still alive. Seeing her use her magic made him wonder if Danarius had actually died of a stroke and she had just stumbled in and claimed credit for his death.

She wasn't cruel, however, and he was much happier under her control than Danarius's. Her weakness made it difficult to guard her, and Fenris gave it another month before someone eliminated her. He would prevent it to the best of his ability, of course, but he couldn't be with her all the time.

"Fenris, do you want to be free?" She asked out of nowhere and he froze. What trickery was this?

"I live to serve you, Mistress." He responded cautiously. A month ago, he would have immediately collapsed on his knees and begged forgiveness for whatever he had done, but his mistress hadn't given him any signs of suddenly becoming Hadriana, so he stopped expecting her to be. It was liberating, of a sort. But that didn't mean he was stupid enough to disrespect her.

She sighed. "Besides your mantra. Have you ever wanted to branch out and start a life for yourself?"

Fenris's hands stopped. He had never thought of the future beyond wondering who would inherit him after his mistress was killed. A life of his own? Such thoughts had literally been beaten out of him in the past.

"I don't know, mistress." He responded honestly. "I never think more than a day in advance, because it means I can't fully concentrate on my duties in the present."

"Well, it's something to think about." she said, and subtly shrugged his hands off her shoulders. "I'm going to go have a bath. You can go back to sleep or grab a snack or whatever.

As she left, Fenris sat in the guest chair, mind whirling with images of what his life could be like if he made his own decisions.

/-/-/-/-/

A couple weeks later, I was sitting at my desk, when Silivus stormed into my study, crackling with rage.

I immediately stood and faced him, and he halted himself with a quick glance at Fenris, who had drawn his weapon and stood beside me protectively.

"Is this your idea of a Maker-forsaken joke?" He roared, throwing a parchment at my feet.

I picked it up and my heart sank. It was an arrest warrant for Silivus. He was charged with possession of unregistered dark items and with the illegal trafficking of slaves.

The paper didn't have to tell me what the charges were; I was the one who reported him.

"Luckily, my friend in the Office of Records managed to tip me off; otherwise I'd be sitting in a cell right now. And you wouldn't have to worth about big bad Silivus looming over you, now would you? Well, you showed your hand a little early. Apparently my last warning hadn't fully sunk in with you yet."

He took a menacing step closer, but stopped at the sight of Fenris standing there.

"Order your bodyguard to leave." He spat, glaring at me.

I scoffed. "Um, no. In fact, I think it's time for you to leave. Fenris, please escort him out."

"You'll regret this," Silivus snarled as Fenris took a threatening step forward.

I smiled and turned my back to him. "I doubt it."

Fenris herded him out the door, and I returned to my one piece of correspondence. I hadn't made a splash in the Senate yet, and none of my fellow Big Wigs had returned my letter.

After a couple of minutes, Fenris returned and sat in the guest chair. At first, he had stood at attention, but I insisted he at least be comfortable while watching me be boring for hours at a time.

"Any difficulties?" I asked as I wrote Calcinus that no, I would not be interested in funding the research into a spell that would help one communicate with rabbits. What a weirdo.

Fenris settled into his chair. "No. But I would suggest that you avoid antagonizing him in the future, especially when he knows better than anyone what your weaknesses are."

I swiveled my chair and looked at him. "You're probably right. But I thought I would get him this time for sure. Well, I'll think of something.

The rest of the day passed without incident, but a lump of foreboding had formed in my stomach that no amount of chocolate could diminish.

/-/-/-/-/

As Fenris carefully scanned the room, paying close attention to where Silivus was chatting with another Senator, he kept half of his mind on the conversation Hawke was having with some older Senators.

"Ten thousand gold's worth of tomes, just sitting in his library! That is bordering on disastrous! We all indulge our occasional whims to flaunt our wealth, but Silivus has taken it to a new extreme. I mean, it would take decades to read all of those books, why assemble them now? Furthermore"

All of a sudden, Hawke rose to her feet

Her eyes widened, and she just whispered "Fenris, it's him-" before smiling charmingly at the older Senators and saying "Sorry, gents, I just need to go talk to my master. I need to beg him for advice."

She strolled over to where Silivus was, and Fenris's heart sank. He couldn't embarrass her by dragging her out of the room, and who knows what effect that would have on her mind. Helplessly, he followed her.

Silivus was sitting with a small smirk, and Hawke knelt behind his chair. Fenris winced. That's where he normally had to kneel, and the connotation wasn't lost on the Senators around them.

"Yes, Hawke?" He said, playing the part of the indulgent master. "Did you want something?"

Fenris dreaded what Silivus would make her say, and sure enough "I want you to put me in my place, my lord. I never should have let your wise care, and I'm so weak without you protecting me."

The other Senators were looking at Hawke in disgust, and Fenris couldn't believe they were falling for this obvious use of blood magic.

"I need you to satisfy me, master. I want you to make me scream like you used to when I was misbehaving."

The other magisters rolled their eyes, and one said "This is why we shouldn't have women magisters. They're all weak and needy. Well, we'll let you take care of that. I'll write up the paperwork and send it over tomorrow."

Silivus nodded his assent, and started absentmindedly playing with Hawke's hair.

Then it was just the three of them in this corner of the Senate chamber. Silivus's hand tightened in Hawke's hair, and he pulled her head up to face him. "How'd you like that, you traitorous bitch? You were right, you have been misbehaving. We'll rectify that now."

Fenris drew his sword and growled "No, you won't. Release her."

He allowed his markings to glow, and Silivus's eyes widened.

And then they narrowed. "Extinguish yourself, slave, or she will start losing basic motor functions."

Hawke started writhing and clutching her head and Fenris stopped glowing.

"Stay here, mongrel, or I will break her mind."

Fenris glared at him. He knew that Silivus was completely capable of fulfilling his threat, and he tried not to be infuriated with Hawke for not working on her defenses more.

Silivus and Hawke left the room, and Fenris followed them at a discreet distance.

His fears were confirmed as Silivus led her into a closet, and latched the door with magic.

He stared at the door in horror. Danarius had brought him into the same closet once, and there was definitely enough room for all sorts of unpleasant activities.

Fenris must have paced that hallway for an hour before the door finally opened and Silivus exited, adjusting his robes.

When he saw Fenris, he rolled his eyes. "It's just like Hawke to unteach a slave how to obey. I would be careful with how much disrespect you show me. I'll be your master after she inevitably dies. And I don't tolerate disobedience. As I just had to reteach her." He jammed a thumb back at the closet door, which Hawke still hadn't walked out of, and then looked Fenris up and down. "I'm anxious to see if Danarius's assessment of your talents were accurate. All that lyrium..."

Silivus strolled past Fenris even having the audacity to whistle a cheery tune.

Almost against his will, Fenris's hand started glowing, and he took a step towards Silivus's retreating back, determined to end this madness now, but Silivus gestured towards the door.

"You might want to check on her. She's not going to be fit enough to walk without help."

Fenris snarled, but turned around and opened door.

/-/-/-/-/

The door opened, and I cringed. He was back to-

"Mistress!" Fenris exclaimed as he rushed to her side.

I tried to smile at him, but my broken jaw made me cry out instead.

"Can't you heal yourself?" He asked anxiously, breaking the chains that held me bound to the ceiling. I shook my head. Silivus had drained my mana right off the bat, so I was effectively useless until I found a lyrium potion.

Fenris caught me as I fell forward, and sat me gently on the ground. Then, he started undressing.

"What are you doing?" I asked with alar. Was Silivus possessing Fenris too?

Fenris looked at me with pity. "You need clothes, Hawke."

He was right, of course. Silivus's first move had been to burn away my robes, leaving me wearing soot and burns and nothing else.

Fenris took off his white shirt that he always wore under his armor and then his leather leggings.

He hurriedly put his armor back on as I struggled with his shirt. My right elbow was broken, and my left arm was in bad shape too.

_"I think your problem is that you forgot who you belong to," Silivus whispered, his breath reeking of the awful weed he smoked. "Let's fix that."_

_He had held up his right hand and heated his signet ring until it was glowing red, while shielding himself, of course._

_Then, he used it as a brand on my left forearm. His design was a simple S inside a triangle, and it showed clearly in my inflamed skin._

_"Now, about your punishment," he had started, taking off his robe and hanging it on a hook. He approached me with sparks flickering around his fingers. "I want to hear you scream," he breathed in my ear and then dug his fingers into my sides._

"Mistress? Mistress?" Fenris was snapping his fingers in front of my face, trying to bring me out of my nightmare. "We should get going."

He pulled my left arm over his shoulders, and hauled me to my feet. The journey home was a blur, but I remember feeling the intense relief of sinking into my bed.

Fenris brought me lyrium potions from... somewhere, and I sipped them carefully. Slowly, I healed my wounds and broken bones. Something about the way he had broken my knee was too tricky for me to fix, and I knew I would have a limp until I saw a better healer. I drank the last drop of lyrium from the bottle and used it to fix my last injury, my black eye.

_"Where's your precious bodyguard to protect you now?" Silivus snarled, slamming my head into the wall as he came in my mouth._

_I spat away the disgusting taste and smirked up at him "Thinking about him at a time like this? Makes me wonder if that's the reason you don't have a wife."_

_He backhanded me instantly and then froze me from the waist up. "Why should I get a wife when I have a little slut nearby at all times? Plus, I can do whatever I want to you, and you can never escape me."_

_Then he positioned himself behind me and-_

"Mistress! Hawke!" Fenris was shouting at me, and I realized I was sobbing and cringing on the bed.

I wiped my eyes on the back of my hands, and tried to calm my breathing down. "I'm sorry, Fen-Fenris."

He just stood there by the side of the bed, looking uncomfortable, and then he took a small step back.

"I'll get you some water," he said, anxious to make his escape.

I wanted to call after him, beg him not to leave me alone with the dark, but he was already just a cloud of dust.

With my breathing finally calmed down, I focused on the problem at hand.

"We have to do something, Fenris." I said as he returned with a glass of water.

He nodded. "We do."

For some reason, the conversation that I was having before Silivus blood magicked me replayed itself in my mind.

Then, it hit me.

"Hey, Fenris, how do you feel about arson?"

He smiled. "Wildly enthusiastic."

/-/-/-/-/

It was nice to see some life back in her eyes, Fenris thought as Hawke animatedly described her plan to him. She had fallen asleep right before elaborating the night before, but had awoken with determination in her heart. And it was a good plan. Except for one little snag.

"He'll know it was you, and then he'll come and kill you."

Hawke frowned. "Then I guess I'll run away. I can't stay in the city with him anymore. Wherever I go, he's there. I'm never safe." Her eyes started watering, and Fenris awkwardly sat on the bed.

He knew how to handle almost every other emotion from experience with Danarius and Hadriana. Rage (ride it out, he can lick his wounds later), lust (see: rage), joy (don't give any bad news, be energetic), but fear and sorrow was new to him.

Fenris awkwardly patted Hawke's shoulder, but she pulled herself up quickly. "Sorry, Fenris. I'm working on it, I promise. Anyway," she said, standing up and limping out the door, Fenris close behind. "most of the servants have left already, so that's good. Fewer people that Silivus can take out his anger on once I escape. Here," she said, sitting at her desk and scribbling something on a piece of paper. "make sure you keep this."

She handed it to Fenris, who stared at it in confusion. "What is it?"

"You can't read?" Hawke asked, wincing. "I should have known that. Sorry. Well, it's a paper saying you're free."

Fenris mind stopped dead in its tracks. This... made him free?

"In case anything happens to me, you can present that to the Archon's Office and they'll issue an official statement."

Fenris's vision had gone black except for the precious piece of paper in his hands. She had asked him before if he wanted to be free, and he hadn't thought about it for more than a couple minutes. It just seemed so impossible. And then Hawke had started freeing other slaves, so he assumed the offer was revoked. Apparently, he was wrong.

"Thank you." Fenris said quietly. He had never been giving anything as a gift before and he didn't know how to properly express his gratitude. Well, not the way a normal, non-slave would.

Hawke smiled. "No problem. So, how about the day after tomorrow?"

That was soon, but Fenris could understand why she didn't want to wait.

/-/-/-/-/

"Here," I said, handing him a leather pouch. "There are four vials of the fire liquid and two health potions. The fires are green. There's also fifty gold in there. Do you have the paper?"

Fenris nodded, patting the pocket hidden under his armor.

"All right. Looks like you're ready. I'll be on the Siren's Call. It leaves at ten, so you'd have time to make it. But I understand if you never want to see anything that reminded you of this place. So, goodbye, Fenris. Best of luck to you. And watch out for bear traps."

I almost went in for a hug, but was still wary of touching him. No need to leave on a bad note.

"Goodbye, Hawke."

With that, Fenris walked out of my life, through the window.

I put on my travelling cloak, and my own bag of money. Strolling through the dark mansion, I reflected upon how temporary it had always felt. Half the house hadn't even been explored yet. It was almost as if I knew it wouldn't last.

Before I closed the door, I shot a ball of flame at the huge tapestry of Danarius's crest.

Then, feeling like a boss, I strolled away from the soon-to-be-smoldering palace.

It was nine thirty, and I made my way to the docks. The Siren's Call was a hive of activity, as it would be departing soon.

"Here's my fare," I told the captain, handing her thirty gold. The captain was a pretty woman, wearing an uncomfortably small amount of clothing.

She didn't look at me as she took my coin. "Greetings, Magister."

I knew we deserved it, but the hostility from non-Tevinters towards magisters always surprised me.

"Will we be leaving on time?" I asked, glancing out towards where Silivus's mansion stood. Maybe there was still time for Fenris to make it...

The Captain wheeled around with fire in her eyes. "We will leave when I order us to, magister, and if that is unacceptable, you can feel free to swim!"

I shrank back. "I'm sorry, I was just curious."

She sighed, and I retreated to a different part of the ship.

After ten minutes, I heard a cry and saw a large flame shoot into the sky from Silivus's neighborhood.

Fenris had done it! Now, the only undecided thing was whether he would come on the ship with me.

I had told him several times what ship I would be on, and subtly hinted that I would love it if he joined me, but I was so careful to avoid phrasing it as anything close to a command.

My crush on him hadn't abated, and if I had stayed even six more months, I have no doubt I would have succumbed in a moment of weakness. But now that he's a free man, a relationship was actually possible.

"Prepare for departure!" I heard the captain holler, and the sailors all took their positions. I sighed. Looks like he had decided against it.

Swallowing my disappointment, I started to head below decks, when I heard a sailor shout "Captain! There's a man here who would like passage also!"

I froze on the stairs and watched the conversation between Fenris and the captain. The captain said something that clearly made him uncomfortable, but she then accepted his coin with no trouble, and walked with him towards me.

"Fenris! You came!" I exclaimed, beaming like an idiot.

Fenris rolled his eyes with a small smirk. "I never really had a choice, did I?"

I saw the captain's eyes flick towards me for a second, and then away. "You can retire downstairs. The bunks nearest the galley can be yours."

"Thanks!" I said, to no reply.

Fenris and I retreated down the stairs and both laid on the beds.

I drifted off to sleep, excited for the next phase of my life.

My heart was pounding as I looked around me. I was hanging on a wall by my wrists, and the memory of that day in the Senate was flashing through my mind.

The door creaked open, and Silivus walked in, holding a chain. Attached to that chain was...

Fenris.

Fenris had a black eye, and was breathing in short little gasps. He had clearly been beaten before this.

"So, you decided to get revenge, did you?" Silivus snarled, pulling on the chain to make Fenris come closer. "Do you think I'm going to let that go? I'll find you. And when I do, you'll wish I was as kind as I was in the Senate. Fenris, kill her."

Fenris took lumbered towards me, with no recognition in his eyes, a raised a glowing blue hand to my chest.

With a sudden movement, his hand was in my chest, gripping my heart. Incredible pain radiated from my chest cavity, and I screamed-

Only to have my mouth covered and my hands bound behind my back as I was dragged off my bed.

_He found me. It's over_. I thought in a daze as I was dragged on deck. _I have to find a way to help Fenris escape._

I was thrown to my knees, and I winced when my bad knee hit the floor. Taking a deep breath, I looked up to see...

The captain.

"You thought you could bring a slave on my ship and I wouldn't notice? I refuse to help slime like you take advantage of an innocent man! Enjoy the Void, magister scum." She snarled, not giving me a chance to respond.

She drew her daggers, and I stared at her, bewildered that I was going to die for no reason, when I heard someone shout "Stop!"

It was Fenris.

The captain paused and turned to face him. "I was hoping we wouldn't wake you."

"What are you doing?" Fenris demanded, gesturing at me.

The captain looked confused. "Freeing you from the cruel clutches of a magister."

At the words "cruel clutches", Fenris had actually laughed.

"Her? An evil magister? She couldn't be cruel if she tried!" I nodded vigorously, praying she would believe him. "She's never even whipped a slave!" True, but perhaps a little off topic. "A lot of people think she only got her title because Danarius died of natural causes!"

"Hey!" I grumbled through my gag. That was uncalled for and most likely not true.

The captain wasn't convinced. "Then she should die anyway, before her demon comes to collect his due. And to legalize your freedom."

"She doesn't use blood magic, and my freedom is already legalized," Fenris explained, handing her his paper.

The captain's expression changed to one of utter shock. She read the document twice, as if she couldn't believe it. "She gave this to you? And you saw her write it?"

"Yep." Fenris replied, sounding a little smug. It was a good look for him, this confidence. "I'm a free man."

"And quite a man at that," the captain said, absentmindedly as she reread the document. Then, she turned to look at me. "I appear to have made a mistake. This is awkward, so I'm going to walk away."

And that's what she did.

"She's a piece of work," I said with a chuckle after Fenris removed my gag and blindfold.

"She sure is..." Fenris said, but I noticed his eyes were following her as she pretended to be busy.

I felt a pang of jealousy that he had never looked at me that way (at least, never in a healthy sense). "Fenris, how about we keep my whole Magister status a secret? I would prefer not having this situation reoccur every time we meet someone new." Not that it wasn't fun almost being executed…

"Sounds reasonable," he said with a nod.

I walked up to the front of the boat and looked out toward the horizon. To my surprise, Fenris joined me.

We watched the dawn break and the sky became filled with the most beautiful colors imaginable. There were no colors like this in Miranthous, that was for certain

"Are you ready for our next adventure?" I asked Fenris, who smiled.

"Our biggest one yet."

Kirkwall.


	4. I think I'll Start Naming These Now

"Danarius died of natural causes, did he?" I shouted at Fenris as I killed four raiders with chain lightning.

Fenris was too busy liberating organs from their owners to respond, but I swear I thought I saw him roll his eyes.

Another raider tried to stab Isabela from the back, but I exploded him with a jab from my staff.

"No fire on my ship!" she yelled, driving both of her daggers into a raider's neck. "If it sinks to the bottom of the sea, you'll be joining it!"

I laughed and shot a rock fist over at an archer that was hidden on the other ship.

Over the several weeks of our voyage, the Siren's Call had lived up to its name and attracted raiders and pirates of all sorts. After the first couple encounters, we had all fallen into sort of a rhythm during the battles. I stood in the back and provided cover as Fenris and Isabela jumped onto the other ship and double handedly killed entire crews. The Siren's crew helped as much as they could, but most of the carnage happened between the three of us.

"Hawke, stop narrating and focus on the battle!" Isabela shouted, performing a quick flip over a goon and using her momentum to kick him overboard.

A pirate had snuck past the crew, and was running towards me with a dagger in his hand.

I quickly froze him in place and smashed his head in with the end of my staff. Yeah, I do that kind of thing.

The battle was over soon after that, and the others started looting the ship. My bum knee made it impossible for me to swing across to the other ship, so I cleaned up the Siren the best I could.

Soon, the pillaging was done and we were on our way again.

"You almost lost your head there for a minute." Isabela reproached me as her, Fenris, and I toasted our victory, like we always did.

I took a swig from my flask. "I'm a storyteller. What can I say?"

"You could start by describing the stunningly beautiful captain and her dashing first mate," Isabela suggested, looking Fenris up and down appreciatively.

He blushed a little, and I inwardly groaned. They were clearly interested in each other, but Fenris was too uncomfortable to return Isabela's advances.

Sparing him, Isabela looked out into the horizon.  
"At this rate, we'll be docking tomorrow. And also arriving at Kirkwall." I'm pretty sure there was some innuendo there.

I yawned. "I'm heading to bed. Good night!"

Both Fenris and Isabela said goodnight, and I retreated to below decks. My bunk had been feeling especially good of late.

As the distance from Miranthous increased, my nightmares abated, and I was sleeping sounder than I had in a long time.

/-/-/-/-/

Fenris watched Hawke walk down the stairs. The last couple weeks had been great for her. She seemed happier and more confident than ever. Plus, she hasn't woken him up with her tossing and turning recently.

"You're still worried about her, aren't you?" Isabela asked, leaning against the mast next to him.

Fenris looked away. "What are you talking about?"

"You're always watching her. During battles and when she's just walking around the ship. What are you afraid of?"

Fenris looked up at her, his eyebrows furrowing in a worry that he hadn't let show. "The reason we had to flee was she destroyed the house and wealth of a powerful magister. From what I know of him, he's not one to let things go. He's going to come after her, and when he does..."

He trailed off, and Isabela didn't ask him to elaborate.

"So, what are you going to do?"

He straightened, almost subconsciously. "I'm going to protect her and kill the bastard before he can hurt her."

Isabela gestured at the poker table that was unoccupied and she and Fenris sat at the chairs. Night was falling, and the stars were slowly peeping out in the dark sky.

"Why are you still with her? If I had been a slave of someone, my first action as a free person would be slitting my master's throat." The nearby lantern flickered and for a second, her eyes shone with an inhuman malice.

Fenris shrugged. "It wasn't her fault. She killed my previous master and just happened to inherit me." His bitterness was evident. "The first time I saw her, I was in the dungeon after one of Danarius's punishments. She healed me, and sent the slave who had guided her to me to the kitchen. Then it was just the two of us. She smiled at me, and, for just a split second, I didn't see her, I saw Danarius. And I expected her to turn into him every day for six months. She didn't obviously, and that's why I'm still with her. Hawke is a person worth following. Plus, the same magister will want to claim me. It's only a matter of time before he finds us, and Hawke and I stand a better chance together."

This was the longest speech he could ever remember making, and he immediately felt uncomfortable with Isabela gazing at him so intently.

"Do you love her?"

Fenris's head shot up, and he slowly shook his head. "I don't think so. It's more protectiveness than anything else."

"Good, that means I still have a chance," Isabela said, nudging him playfully with her elbow. "Well, we should get some sleep. You know, the captain's bed currently has a vacancy, if you'd like to join me."

Fenris blushed faintly and rose to his feet. "My bunks are satisfactory, but I appreciate your invitation."

He departed for below decks, while Isabela watched him with a faint smile.

/-/-/-/-/

"We have to get on deck!" I heard Fenris shout as he shook me awake. "Hurry!"

I stumbled after him, still half asleep. "Bandits attack us?"

"The ship's sinking," Fenris shouted. It was storming hard and it was difficult to hear him over the thunder and yells of the crew.

We reached the deck, and the boat started tipping ominously to port, I think.

Isabela was still trying to hold on to the wheel, her knuckles white with tension. She showed no sign of letting go.

"Can you cast any buoyancy charms?" Fenris asked, looking anxiously at where Isabela was standing in shock.

I nodded, and started chanting.

Out of my peripherals, I saw Fenris run up and tug her free from her death grip. She reacted violently, but Fenris just phased through her swipes, jumping back when she drew her daggers.

I tried to put my spell on Fenris, Isabela, and I, but it was hard to concentrate.

Then, the ship hit a rock and all hell broke loose.  
I was launched into the water, staff torn from my hands. Never learning to swim was actually a really bad decision. I sank into the dark, choppy waves, and I felt a flashing fear of the unknown abyss that I was sinking into, but there was nothing I could do.

There was some glowing in the distance, but I just assumed it was an electric eel.

And here I always thought Silivus would be the one to kill me, I thought. At least he can't find me now. Now, I'm gone...

Gone...

Gone.

**If I had commercials, I'd play them now. Instead, I'll tell you a joke I made up. "If I were an assassin, I would totally kill someone on St. Patrick's Day and then whisper 'You weren't wearing green.' And if they were wearing green, I'd say 'That's teal.'"**

**Now back to our regularly scheduled reading.**

"DON'T YOU DARE BE GONE! You better come back! Come on, come on!" I felt a pounding on my chest, and a burning in my throat. Then, I spewed water all over Fenris.

His split second look of disgust was replaced with relief as I coughed up all the water in my lungs.

I felt like I had gargled gravel, and my mouth tasted like fish, but I was alive.

"Fenr-" I croaked out, throat incredibly sore. "Wha-"

Fenris helped me to my feet. "Don't talk. Isabela says we are only a few miles from Kirkwall, we can get water there. Can you walk?"

I nodded, looking around and not seeing Isabela anywhere. "Is?"

"She's fine, she just went to scout ahead," Fenris reassured me. He carefully let go of my hand so I could walk.

And then, I fell on my face as my knee gave out. I must have hit a rock or something, because my seafaring pants had torn and my knee was red and swollen.

"What's going on here?" a male voice drifted over this little scene of drama.

I focused on sitting up, and I saw a man with light brown hair pulled back in a ponytail approach, staff in hand.

"Get back!" Fenris stood in front of me protectively, his hand glowing with his strange, sexy lyrium tattoos. Gosh, I'm pathetic.

The man froze.

"Fenris, what are you doing?" I choked out.

He snarled. "This man is a mage. He can't be trusted."

"Hey," I heard the man pipe up from his distance of about twenty feet away. "I can heal her. I'm just trying to help!"

"Take another step and I'll tear out your organs," Fenris growled.

"Fen, let him help." My knee was throbbing and my throat was feeling like the Blight. That doesn't even make sense, I'm in so much pain.

"Look, I don't need your permission to help her. If she gives me her consent, I'm going to heal her. You don't want to stand in my way."

Fenris paused. "What do you mean 'her consent'?"

I felt my insides shriveling. He didn't know what consent was? When he offered to... he didn't...

The stranger didn't know how to respond to our messed up dynamics, but his healing instinct was obviously not letting him walk away.

"Fen, please let him heal me..." I begged.

I saw him visually struggling, but he finally stepped to the side. "Make it quick, mage."

"Such gratitude. I should be the knight in shining armor more often. Maybe next time I'll get a nice sword to the gut." He strolled over to where I was on the ground and his hands started glowing bright blue, which always happened.

And then cracks appeared in his skin, and his eyes started glowing.

Oh.

/-/-/-/-/

"An abomination!" Fenris snarled, reaching instinctively for the sword that was lost in the ocean. He had dealt with them before.

The spirit possessing the mage spoke through his host's mouth. "Be still, elf. Anders means you no harm, and it would be unjust to let this girl suffer."

The mage's hand moved, and a glyph of paralysis appeared beneath Fenris, who was lunging toward the man. He was frozen in place, and the mage walked toward Hawke.

She tried to scoot away, and the glowing blue eyes faded into light brown eyes filled with worry. Fenris wanted to rip the abomination's heart out when he saw her look of fear.

"I'm just trying to help. Can I see your leg?" His hands were still glowing, but he had returned to a normal looking human.

Good. Much easier to kill him that way.

Hawke nodded. "Yes, please."

The mage kneel next to her, and Fenris saw his hands hover over her inflamed knee, not unlike how she had healed his wounds the first night.

She groaned in relief, and the sight of her knee returning to normal made Fenris want to murder the abomination a little less.

The mage also sent a wave of healing towards her throat, and she immediately started taking deep, calming breaths.

"Promise not to murder me?" the mage asked, looking at Fenris's motionless form. "We can all agree that I helped, right?"

"Thank you," she said, her throat back to normal. "I don't know what we would have done without you."

He smiled, and Fenris felt a sharp pang of jealousy that this random mage could help more than he could. "No problem." He offered his hand to help Hawke to her feet. "By the way, someone had really done a number on your leg. Did you get in the way of a nasty spell on the way here?"

"Something like that. Can you unfreeze Fenris?"

Fenris was livid, but he had to admit the abomination hadn't actually harmed Hawke.

Which is why he would get by with just a warning.

This time.

/-/-/-/-/

I rose to my feet gingerly. For the first time in months, my knee didn't have its usual stab of pain.

"Hi, I'm Mag- Hawke. Just Hawke." I awkwardly introduced myself. I'm definitely not a magister anymore. "This is my friend, Fenris. Say hello to the nice mage, Fenris."

Fenris stiffened and I could see he was having a brief flashback. Well, this is my POV right now, so we have no idea what it was. Deal.

"Mage. I thank you for saving her life. But if you ever dare freeze me again, I will tear off all of your favorite body parts." It would sound ridiculous if anyone else said it, but the way Fenris spoke calmly and confidently left me no doubt that he meant it.

We stood in awkward silence for a second, and then heard a voice behind us. "Well, look who's making friends. Anders, how are you?"

I jumped a mile. "Isabela, how did you get behind us?" There were steep rocks on either side of us, and the only path was clearly within our view.

"I'm a rogue," she stated, looking at me as if I were a nincompoop.

"That doesn't-"

She brushed past me and hugged Anders, and I swear I heard a growl from Fenris as she did so. "Last time I saw you was in the Pearl, correct? Maker, that was a night to remember. I could barely walk for a week." She leaned over to whisper to me "You really should ask him to show you his lightning trick sometime."

Her brown eyes seemed to have a glint of steely gray in them for a second, and I backed up to where Fenris was standing.

"How far are we from Kirkwall?" I asked Anders, not wanting to continue this conversation anymore.

He looked over his shoulder. "About an hour. Would you like me to escort you?"

"That would be great!" I said at the exact time Fenris said "That won't be necessary."

"Great!" the mage said, ignoring my gloomy companion. "Let's get going before the dragonlings come out."

I laughed, but he didn't, and we started walking towards civilization. Anders and Isabela took the lead, catching up on news of the Blight and a person they just called "the Warden." I was in the middle and Fenris was our rearguard.

After walking until I didn't think we could walk anymore, we finally reached Kirkwall. And what a city it was.

The light of the full moon illuminated the dark, dreary buildings the best it could, but there seemed to be an inner darkness radiating from within the brick walls. There were huge statues of-

"Slaves." Fenris hissed from behind me. "They call this the 'City of Chains.' I now see why."

We stopped in a small plaza, filled with stores closed for the night. Anders turned to me. "Well, I wish I could offer you lodging for the night, but my clinic is always overcrowded. Perhaps you could find lodging at the Hanged Man. I hope to see you around. Best of luck!"

"Thank you again for healing me," I said with a smile. "If you ever need a favor, I'll be there in a flash."

He smiled and I inwardly groaned at how weirdly I had worded that.

"Well, I'm going to check out the Hanged Man. Coming with?" Isabela said, idly twirling her daggers.

I shook my head. "I remember Danarius's papers mentioning a manor somewhere around here. According to his records, the person hired to maintain it was killed in a break-in gone wrong, so it can probably be claimed without hassle. Plus, I don't have any money to rent a room in an inn." All of my worldly assets were currently resting on the bottom of the Waking Sea. "Unless you can offer me a refund for our passage..."

Isabela looked to the side. "Well, it's getting late. Fenris, are you sticking with Hawke or coming to the Hanged Man?"

"I'll stay with Hawke." Fenris decided, to my surprise and delight. I knew it wasn't even close to a contest, but I silently cheered at a point for Team Hawke. And then he smiled. "It's a shame really. I was only a night from requesting to share the captain's quarters..."

Plus fifty for Team Isabela.

"That's not fair!" She complained as Fenris and I walked away, laughing. "I already lost my ship! I've suffered enough!"

We walked down the darkened streets, and I was extremely grateful for Fenris's soothing presence. I could cast spells without a staff, but it was much more difficult.

"Looks like this is it," I said, stopping in front of an old, decrepit manor. "Home sweet home."

Fenris tried the door, and, to my surprise, it was locked. "That's a good sign. It means we can lock it behind us. Can you magic it open?"

I nodded, and knelt in front of the door handle. After about five minutes of finagling with it, the door creaked open.

"Stay here," Fenris advised. "I'm going to check the place out."

It was nearing three in the morning, and I practically fell asleep standing up.

"The coast is clear," Fenris said, gesturing for me to follow him upstairs. There were two rooms that didn't look like they were in too bad of condition, and when Fenris indicated I could choose, I entered the one on the left. Apart from being extremely dusty, I approved, and laid down in the bed, exhausted.

"Good night, Fenris." I called.

He started to close my door. "Good night, mis- Hawke."

I winced and I think he did too.

He closed the door, and I was left alone in the darkness.

I rolled over to go to sleep, but couldn't get comfortable. Tossing and turning didn't help, and after twenty minutes, I realized what was wrong. I was alone.

Fenris had slept in my room for so long that I had grown accustomed to his soothing breathing.

I was trying to tell myself to get over it, when my door opened. Admittedly, the dark and I don't get along well, so I think I can be forgiven for immediately assuming it was Silivus coming to kill me.

Much to my surprise, it was Fenris.

"Couldn't sleep?" I asked as he stood by the doorway awkwardly.

He nodded, the moonlight from the window reflecting in his snow white hair. "It's too silent." He had been sharing a room for even longer than I had.

I looked around, but there weren't any handy couches or divans.

"Do you... do you want to sleep with me?" I asked timidly. "Not with me! Just in the same bed. Not even touching. Or you can sleep while I stand guard. Or nobody can sleep. We can just not sleep. Or-"

I heard a sound that I had rarely heard from him addressed towards me, a chuckle.

Fenris stepped farther into the room, and I could see he had changed out of his armor and was wearing a shirt and leggings. A little awkwardly, he crawled into the bed, not going under the covers.

"Good night," I said again, rolling over so my back was to him.

"Good night." The sound of his breathing soon reached my ears, and I finally could relax.

Also, that's a hundred points for Team Hawke.

**How did you guys like it? Reviews are my mouse and keyboard!**


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